The Cuter Side of Evil
by damtoti
Summary: Namie discovers Izaya's surprising weakness, but when her pranks go too far, will Izaya just let things slide?
1. Izaya's Weakness

"Namieeee!" The cocky informant called as if his very life were at stake," Naaammieeee-chaaaaan!"

"What do you want?" His young employee answered quite bluntly.

"Namieeee-chaaaaan!"

"I'm listening, what do you want?" she growled.

"Help meeeee! Namieeeeeeee!"

She figured if he called out her name one more time in that annoying voice, she would snap for sure. The only thing she could do is leave the huge pile of paperwork he had left out for her, and figure out what her boss was whining about this time.

"I'm here," she said as she stepped into Izaya's room. She figured he was going to ask her to get him another drink, or maybe make him a snack, like he always did. It was infuriating the way he was always playing around while she finished his work, and even more infuriating that he always tried to distract her while she worked, as if to rub this fact in her face.

"Thank god you're here, Namie! Save meeee!"

Namie sighed. "Yes, what's the problem?"

"There!" Izaya pointed his finger at the corner of his room in over exaggerated horror, while shuddering on his chair.

Namie glanced at the empty corner, then at the normally terrifying man, trembling in his chair while holding his knees. "And?"

"That! There!" Izaya sputtered, "Spider!" He finally choked out.

"Is this why you bothered me? It's just a spider," sighed Namie as she rolled her eyes.

"Just a spider?!" the informant gaped, as if she had said something shocking.

"I suppose you want it gone," said Namie. She picked up the nearest book, walked over to the spider, and crushed it with one blow. "Better?"

Izaya was staring at as though she had done something impossible. "N-Namie-chan!"

"What now?" she growled.

Izaya spun his chair around so the back faced her, and peered over at her, "You're kinda scary." As if to emphasize this, he lowered his head as if to hide from her.

Namie rolled her eyes again, "I suppose I can get back to work now?"

"Yes, please do, and I'll get back to loving the people of this city," Izaya said with a nasty chuckle, straightening up his appearance.

Just then, realization dawned over Namie. She began to giggle, and then laugh outloud.

"What is it?" Izaya asked warily.

"Who would have known," smirked Namie, "One of Ikebukuro's most dangerous men is afraid of spiders."

"I'm not scared," frowned Izaya, "Just that particular spider looked like a poisonous one. Just imagine how devastating it would be if this town lost _me_."

Namie raised an eyebrow, "Then you're saying, if more spiders seemed to mysteriously _appear_ in this apartment, it wouldn't matter?"

Izaya swallowed. "I think you should get back to finishing your work."

"_Your_ work," Namie corrected him before leaving.

Namie's mind was focused on something else while she worked that day. She believed it was time to pay back Izaya for all those times he teasing her about her brother, disturbing her while working, and just being his annoying self. It could also be considered a personal favor to all the citizens of Ikebukuro.

Namie was here to deliver their vengeance. And it would be even sweeter since she discovered Izaya had such a peculiar weakness. She had a feeling the next few days would be the best of her life.

Izaya's shouting the next morning confirmed this. Although it woke Namie up much too early in the morning, it was worth it to see the look of panic on Izaya's face.

"Naaaamieeeee!" wailed Izaya.

"Yes, Izaya?" she said in a sugary tone with an innocent smile.

"S-spider!" he cried out in desperation.

"Ah, I see it!" she smiled brightly.

"It was you wasn't it?" he wailed again, "Get rid of it!"

"Oh? And what will you do for me if I kill it?"

"N-Namie!" Izaya protested.

"Well I'm definitely not killing it for free."

"Alright, alright, I'll buy you some chocolates if you kill it," Izaya whined.

"Done," smiled Namie. Who knew it was this easy to control the most manipulative man in this town. However, she wasn't done torturing her boss for today.

Halfway through the day, Izaya stepped into the bathroom to take a shower. Five minutes later, there was a clamor of objects being thrown to the ground, and Izaya shouting in a panic.

"Naamieee-chaaaan!" he cried. "I can't believe you would go this far!"

Namie burst into laughter. "Oh, I would."

"Help meeeee!"

Namie reached for the handle.

"N-no! Wait! Don't come in!" Izaya let out an anguished scream as Namie struggled to choke down her laughter. The bathroom door then burst open as Izaya rushed out, draped in just a towel; he was soaking wet, with soapsuds lingering in his hair.

"Well, what do I get this time?" Namie questioned.

Izaya scowled. "I'll quit making you do my errands for me. Now just kill it already!"

Namie looked at the expression on Izaya's face, and burst into laughter once again.

"Ha, ha, you had your laugh," glared Izaya.

Unfortunately, it still wasn't enough for Namie. She still had one special trick she was saving just for dinner.

Izaya looked up as she came in carrying his meal. "Thanks, Namie." It was probably the first time he had ever thanked her for anything.

He took a bite of his food. "I believe you went a bit…overboard with your pranks today." Another bite. "But I suppose you could say, I probably might have deserved it, since most humans are incapable of understanding my love for them." Swallow. "But I'm willing to excuse your immature behavior for today." He gulped down another bite of his food.

"Yes, I understand."

"Good. Anyways, what is this stuff? It's delicious."

Namie cracked a devilish grin. "Did you even look at it?"

Izaya poked the food with his fork. Something was sticking out. Something, hairy, that somewhat resembled a leg. The leg of a spider.

Izaya tossed the plate into the air, which narrowly missed Namie, and began to spit out whatever was in his mouth onto the carpet. He then rushed to the bathroom, where he began to throw up everything he had just eaten.

Namie giggled. She supposed she had gone a bit overboard with that idea, but with the way Izaya treated everyone it didn't seem so bad at the start. Izaya's reaction caused her to feel a bit of guilt, however. She figured she'd apologize to him later on, once he was done being sick.

She then remembered she still had a mountain of paperwork to complete for Izaya. She had been so preoccupied with teasing the informer she had completely neglected her work.

She was busy with her work when the door slammed open.

You," growled Izaya, more furious than she had ever seen him.

She was so taken aback by his appearance that she could only stare up at him with wide, nervous eyes.

He leaned over her desk so his face was only inches from hers. "You went _much_ too far this time," he whispered, his voice trembling with rage.

"I'm sorry," she squeaked.

"Not yet," he smirked evilly. "You're going to pay. I'm going to find your weakness, and then you're going to pay."


	2. Revenge is Sweet

Pissing off Izaya was something he deserved, but Namie really had overdone it with her last prank. After his threat the night before, Namie found it hard to do anything but worry about the possible outcomes of her action. She now had one of the most dangerous men in the city particularly out to get her. And she doubted spiders would save her now. The first thing Izaya had done that morning was purchase several cans of the most expensive bug spray he could find. And he now walked everywhere armed with a can in the unlikely event of a second attack from Namie.

She figured the only way to save herself was to apologize and throw herself at his mercy, but she had too much pride to do that. His evil grin at knowing that he had won was just too much for her to bear.

The only good that had come out of this was that he had kept his word with the promises he made. A box of chocolates was left beside Namie's bed before she woke up, and to her surprise they were all coconut - her favorite. Izaya had also removed the paper he stuck on the fridge listing all the errands and shopping she would have to do that day.

But what could his threat have meant? He was going to find her weakness, and then make her suffer. The first thought that came to her head was her brother, Seiji. Izaya was already well aware of her love for Seiji, and could easily to something to harm him. She doubted he would understand the meaning of boundaries either.

What else could he do? He always carried around a little knife with him, and she knew he was a good fighter. Would he actually go as far as physical harm.

"Namie-chaaaan~" Izaya called. Namie gulped. This would probably be the first time he talked to her this day. This was probably when he would tell her that her brother had died in some "unexpected" accident, or that he was going to give her twice as much paperwork as before.

Namie stepped into the kitchen apprehensively. Izaya turned when he heard her footsteps, flashing her a suspiciously cheerful smile. "Namie-chan! I haven't seen you all day!"

She gave him a small, unenthusiastic smile, waiting for the catch.

"I figured I was being too hard on you and all, since it drove you to such _shocking_ lengths in getting revenge."

She fidgeted nervously.

"I suppose I always overwork you, so today I bought all the groceries, and cooked for the two of us."

Namie stared at him blankly.

"Well, aren't you going to eat?" he said dejectedly.

"What? Oh, yeah, sure." She turned to the table for the first time, then gasped, horrified.

"They had a special deal on carrots," Izaya grinned devilishly.

"H-how did you find out?"

"I did my research," Izaya grinned lazily, obviously pleased with his success. "Well, Namie. We have carrot sticks and ranch for appetizers, carrot vegetable broth, and some good old steamed carrots for the main course, and these lovely carrot cakes I could for dessert."

Namie kept staring at him in shock.

"You must be hungry from working all day, Namie-chan. Aren't you going to eat?"

As if she suddenly remembered where she was, Namie immediately straightened up her composure. "Yes, I suppose so. I'm not sure what you're trying to pull with this carrot prank, but whatever it is, I believe you are misinformed."

"Misinformed?" grinned Izaya, "So it's not true that you good food poisoning after eating some odd type of carrot pie, and got one of the most extreme cases of taste aversion in history?"

"How did you-? I mean, no. I can eat carrots easily." She struggled to make herself look convincing.

"Such an extreme case, that even hearing the word 'carrot' makes you start to feel sick?" Izaya continued.

Namie acted as though she was preoccupied with setting the table.

Izaya chuckled. "Why won't you look into my eyes?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Namie protested, lying terribly. Her face was turning slightly pink.

"Ah, my mistake then. Well eat up. We shouldn't let this food I cooked go to waste."

"R-right," stammered Namie. She took a seat at the table.

"Looks delish, doesn't it?" grinned Izaya, studying the expression on her face. She seemed to be looking anywhere but the food in front of her.

"If you like it so much, just eat it," glared Namie.

"Good idea, I think I will." Izaya took a carrot stick and bit, crunching it as loudly as possible.

Namie shuddered slightly, staring at Izaya as if transfixed.

Izaya then filled up bowls of soup for both Namie and himself. "Best eat it before it gets cold," he smirked, before gulping it down. He looked up to see Namie staring bleakly at her food. "What's the matter? Not hungry?" He asked innocently.

"I-I have a stomachache."

"Tsk, tsk. Namie that excuse is far too old. I was expecting a better response from you."

"I'm not making it up," Namie glared.

Izaya chuckled. She was really getting worked up about it, which made it more than obvious she was anxious about something, likely the food in front of her. Her face was flushing a slight pink. He pondered over whether it was from the heaps of carrot-based foods in front of her. Or maybe the fact that he had figured out the secret she had guarded so well.

"What are you staring at?" Namie muttered, slightly embarrassed by the victorious grin he was shooting at her and the way his eyes were scanning over her face. She knew it was pointless to continue denying her hatred of carrots, but she didn't know what else to do.

"I'm a bit worried that you're not eating. Could it be that I overwork you too much. You know you can _always_ be honest when complaining about me."

She gulped. "N-no! I don't mind at all,"

"Really? I think it'd be best if I started cooking from now on."

"I really-"

"Now, now," Izaya grinned wickedly, putting a finger to Namie's lips. "Why don't you at least try something, so you don't get hungry."

That was the last straw. Namie shoved Izaya's hand away from her face as she stormed away. Izaya watched her gleefully; there was nothing more hilarious that an angry Namie. She rummaged through the fridge, only to find that he had replaced everything she bought with stacks and stacks of carrots. The entire fridge seemed to have turned orange. Izaya would go that far.

She searched through the pantry, brushing aside various magazines Izaya had decided to store in the pantry for some reason, until she found one last box of cereal. "I suppose you threw out everything." She muttered.

Izaya shrugged innocently, "I believe they were all close to their expiration date."

She grabbed a bowl and slammed it down on the table, almost violently. She then shook the box of cereal as furiously as she could, knocking stray pieces of cereal around the table. Izaya watched, amused.

Namie opened the fridge again, then went silent. "You threw out the milk too, didn't you?"

Izaya giggled, "I think that was close to the expiration date as well."

"I bought it two days ago," glared Namie.

"Aww, Namie-chan, have a carrot. The lack of vitamins in your system are probably making you more irritable."

Namie picked up her plate and threw it at him, which he dodged with ease.

"Oh no, it's scary Namie," whimpered Izaya, hiding behind his chair in mock fear again. "Also that plate was mine. You probably have to pay for anoth-"

Another bowl came whirling at him, and Izaya figured it would be safest to leave Namie alone to her rage.

Namie was left to eat plain cereal from the box, as she had broken most of the dishes. "This isn't over yet, Izaya," she hissed to herself.


	3. Insanity

Izaya hummed as he skipped along the sidewalk. His day was already starting off perfect. He had successfully annoyed Shizuo, although he nearly lost his head when Shizuo flung one of the few remaining street signs at him. Not only that, he had bested Namie in their little game. He gave a gleeful laugh as he ran across the street. People were just _so_ predictable. He expected Namie to meekly obey his every command this week, after his latest victoy.

"Namie-chaaan, I'm hoooome~" he sang out as he swung open the door. Normally, Namie would answer him with at least a grunt. Today, however, the apartment was eerily quiet. He heard a little giggle coming from the closet.

"Oh, quite clever," he thought to himself. Was this her latest trick? Attempting to spook him as he returned home? Well unless she was dressed in a giant spider costume, it wasn't going to work.

"Hmm, I suppose Namie-chan's not here," Izaya spoke to himself, feigning ignorance. He strolled down the hallway as if he was heading to his room. As he passed by the closet, he swung open the door in a swift move. "Boo!"

Meanwhile, Namie was busy cooking in the kitchen. Taking Izaya's trip outdoors as an opportunity, she had gotten rid of all the carrots. She wondered if Izaya had found the other surprise she left waiting for him.

"Boo!"

The sound of a shrill sqeak. "Izaya Oniichan!"

"Yay, you found us!"

And an even louder shriek from Izaya.

"Namie-chaaaaan!" the door to the kitchen burst open. Izaya stumbled in like a drunkard, a girl clinging to each leg. "What are these _demons_ doing here?"

"Oh, your sisters? I met them around town and they said they missed you, so I invited them over," she flashed her innocent smile.

"That's not true!" exclaimed Mairu, "We're just hungry!"

"Then go find a restaurant," muttered Izaya, still struggling to kick his legs free.

"Oniiiiiichan! Aren't you supposed to give us allowance?"

Izaya fell into a desperate heap on the kitchen floor, "Why Namie-chan, whyyyyy?" he wailed.

"Dinner's ready!" beamed Namie, ignoring her half-unconscious boss. The two were now taking turns poking his ribs and looking through his pockets.

"Hey, I found a knife!" Mairu pulled out Izaya's favorite pocketknife. Izaya had to use all his strength to keep her from testing it out on his face.

"Namie, I need some help here!" wailed Izaya, a bit more panicked.

Namie sighed, feeling sorry for the informant. "I have cake, girls."

"Yay, cake!" The twins rushed off to the dessert, leaving Izaya a beaten up heap on the ground.

"Get rid of them," he mouthed to Namie.

"Leave two girls outside so late at night? I can't do that," Namie turned away to set the table.

"Wait, WHAT?" exclaimed Izaya, "You're keeping these monsters in _my_ apartment for a whole night? Do you know what could happen to me?!"

Namie rolled her eyes at what she believed was over exaggeration, "Oh please, Izaya-san, these are your sisters."

"Namie-chan, I beg of you!" he cried out hopelessly, falling to the floor.

Namie squeaked as she felt something grab her leg. She looked down to see Izaya clinging onto her leg.

"Please, please, please, _pleeeease_!" he wailed.

Namie struggled to free herself. "I see where they get it from now," she muttered.

"Namie-saaaan, we finished the cake!" sang out Mairu in perfect imitation of Izaya. The two bounded back into the kitchen, tripping over Izaya's body on the floor.

"Ouch," whimpered Kururi, having bumped her head on the floor.

"Oniichan, you hurt her!" exclaimed Mairu, a protective look of anger appearing on her face.

"Eh? What did I do?" complained Izaya.

It was too late though. Mairu was already dragging Izaya off somewhere for his "punishments", Kururi dutifully following her twin.

Five minutes later Kururi walked back. "Namie-san, may we borrow some rope, duct tape, and maybe some of your makeup?"

Namie gave the girl a slightly confused look, "Erm…I suppose so." Maybe she had to rethink what Izaya said about the girls being demons. She figured she'd lock her bedroom door just in case.

However, the girls seemed peaceful enough throughout the rest of the night. As she passed the guest room on her way to her own room, she heard the sound of muffled giggling, but no more shrieking from Izaya. She wondered if she should check up on him, but decided against it. As the only man who could stand a chance against Shizuo Heiwajima, she figured he'd be fine against two teenage girls.


	4. Conclusion

Namie stretched peacefully as she got out of bed. She was always an early riser, but she was more energetic than usual this morning. She was slightly curious to see what had come out of her latest prank. She stepped out of her room cautiously, unsure of what to expect. The apartment was eerily quiet.

"Izaya-san?" she called softly. There was no answer. She tiptoed the rest of the way to the living room in stealth mode, ready to escape from Izaya and/or his insane sisters. She made it to the living room safely. "Izaya?" she called again.

A pink sheet of paper caught her attention, standing out of place in the midst of Izaya's things. "What's this?" she asked aloud, reading the note.

_Oneesan,_

_Thanks for letting us stay over. Izaya looked really happy to see us. We also found lots of carrots in your trash bin. We figured you didn't want them anymore, and we thought they might come in handy. Take care of Oniichan for us._

_-Mairu and Kururi_

Namie blushed at the word _Oneesan_. Seiji was the one she loved. But she felt surprisingly pleased at being mistaken as Izaya's girlfriend. Either way, she wasn't letting Izaya see the note. The last thing she needed was his mind games, now that he was probably even more mad at her.

"Izaya?" she called again. She peeked into his room, but found it empty. A mess or torn up duct tape and rope lay in a heap. Once she had checked to make sure he wasn't hiding somewhere in his room, she searched the rest of the apartment.

"…won't come off!" she heard a whimper coming from the bathroom.

She knocked the door, "Izaya-san, are you in there?"

"N-Namie-chan? You are the worst human alive."

His secretary chuckled evilly.

"Do you mix glue with your makeup?" complained Izaya.

Namie giggled, "What did they do to you?"

"You don't want to know," muttered Izaya.

"Well, thankfully _I_ have the most amazing sibling alive – Seiji," she sighed dreamily. She could almost see Izaya rolling his eyes from the other side of the door.

"Sure, whatever. Just tell me why this crap won't come off my face."

"It's waterproof makeup," said Namie, "You'll need makeup remover to completely take it off."

"What is it with women…" sighed the exasperated informer. "I mean _insane_ women; namely you and my sisters."

Namie smirked, "Open the door."

"What?"

"I'll take it off. Just open the door."

"You can't see me like this!" Izaya protested.

Namie tapped on the door impatiently, "Just open it."

"Fine," Izaya sighed in surrender, "Just promise you won't laugh."

"Sure, sure. Just come out."

The door opened.

"…"

"…"

Namie burst out laughing. Izaya scowled, embarrassed. "I'm going back in," he muttered.

"N-no! I wasn't prepared for it, that's all," she struggled to keep a straight face. "I'll be right back with my makeup things." She took it as an opportunity to laugh where Izaya wouldn't hear her.

Izaya, already somewhat feminine in his petite figure, could have easily been mistake for a girl. His dark hair had been pulled into two tight pigtails, likely glued into place. Blush had been applied over his entire face, making it hot pink. And the eyeliner that had been applied on had been unsuccessfully washed off, giving him large panda eyes. And his lips! Namie had purchased smear-proof lipstick in case Seiji dropped by while she was at work. Even after being washed off several times, Izaya's lips retained a hot pink glow. The colors had smudged in with the rest of his chin. Namie didn't wear much eyeshadow, but she supposed she had a few extra bottles lying around. His sisters seemed completely oblivious to color when beautifying him. The eyeshadow, in deep contrast with the pink blush and lipstick, was neon blue.

After she had her fill in laughing, Namie headed back to where Izaya stood, sulking. "Okay, sit down."

"Where?" he whined.

"I don't know. The toilet? The countertop? Take your pick."

Izaya grumbled, eventually seating himself on the countertop. From this position, his head was still slightly about Namie's, and she had to tiptoe a bit to see him properly. She took a towel and ran it under the water until it was damp enough. Then, she took Izaya's chin in one hand and began to gently rub the towel against his face. He looked slightly taken aback with how close she was.

"What's wrong?" she chuckled.

Izaya frowned. I would have arranged for a truck to hit Seiji as revenge, but since you're making up for it now I guess I won't."

Namie gripped his face, looking straight into his eyes, "Don't joke about Seiji," she hissed.

She felt a warmer pair of hands over her own. "Okay, okay, I didn't say I would." His hands pulled hers away from his face, dropping the towel on the floor. He released her with one hand, using it to pull her closer by the waist. Their eyes met.

You have a lot of nerve trying to piss me off," he whispered.

Namie blushed, the warmth of his breath so close she could feel it. She met his gaze, then began to giggle, "It's so hard to take you seriously when you look like that."

Izaya frowned, "Hurry up and take it off then."

Namie applied the makeup remover, gently removing the color from his face. Despite his age, his skin was soft, almost childlike. He looked up at her with an almost quizzical look as she worked.

"You might be the only human in Ikebukuro I don't love," he finally said.

"I'll take that as a compliment," smiled Namie. If Izaya's love meant setting up dangerous scenarios where people could possibly die, she didn't want it.

"You should." Izaya stared at her. He didn't need love, but Namie was something special.

Namie wasn't sure what Izaya's comment meant, nor did she think it mattered even to brood over. He was a strange man. He was dangerous; one of the few men who could stand up to Shizuo. He was a person who enjoyed tormenting others. But at the same time he was strangely innocent. His actions exposed his immaturity. And right now, as she gently brushed the makeup from his face and he looked up at her with that trusting expression, she felt as though it was her duty to take care of and protect the troublesome informer.


End file.
